Update

Well, I made it to my doctor's appointment this morning. 39 weeks and 3 days. He checked me out and I am neither dilated or effaced. He said I am closed and long...not what I wanted to hear! He said it will still be a few days so I'll probably make it to my due date.

Although, when my mom and I first figured out my due date way back in the beginning we thought it was the fourth, then we figured it down to the first or second, possibly the third. It actually helps me relax a little bit knowing that it's most likely not going to happen until the weekend. I know things can change, but that's my feeling.

My dad's guess is the 4th...anyone else on the same page?

39 Weeks

It has been less than one week since my last pictures and I'm already bigger! It's so strange! I've also noticed that he's dropped a tiny bit. That may have been a contributing factor in my painful episode the other night...he shifted and dropped a little and caused some excruciating back pain! That, thankfully, ended and I like to think that he is a little bit closer to making his entrance in this world! So, here are the pictures I took tonight!

The Girl Who Cried Baby

I had a false alarm last night. Now I'm even more afraid of how painful the real thing is going to be!

Dan and I started watching a movie around 7:30. (We watched Revolutionary Road...wow! Good movie. Sad, but very well done.) About the same time my lower back started to hurt. Then it REALLY started to hurt. I tried to get comfortable every way I could. I tried putting a pillow behind my back and everything. I was also having some pain in my lower abdomen as well.

After the movie I called my mom and asked her if the baby has to drop before you start going into labor and she said "not necessarily." She suggested calling Labor and Delivery so I did and the woman said "sounds like regular end-of-pregnancy aches and pains. Even if you are in labor it's very early on." I also started to notice that I was feeling kinda nauseous and dizzy. I was having some contractions but they were very sporadic and not consistent. I would have one that lasted 30 seconds, have one 25 minutes later that would last 1 minute, then one just 3 minutes later. It would then be another 20 minutes till the next one...just totally inconsistent.

I went upstairs with the computer and posted on my MAMA board I'm a part of. I explained how I was feeling and a lot of them responded saying "try lying down or taking a bath and see if it relaxes you." So I decided to take a warm bath. It felt really nice! At this point the worst part of it all was a splitting headache. Dan went out and got me some Tylenol 'cause all I had was some ibuprofen and the woman at L&D said not to take that. That helped.

After the bath I felt just exhausted and my back was still hurting some. So I curled up in bed and hoped that either it would get worse and I could go the hospital or I would fall asleep and be able to relax. Both Dan and I were kinda hoping it would be former but unfortunately it was the latter. I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I still woke up quite a bit in the night but each time I slept longer in between and the achy feelings slowly subsided.

My mom's guess for the dizziness and headache were dehydration. Which is why I'm trying to keep on top of drinking tons of water today! It could have also contributed to the pain in my back. Hopefully next time though I'll be able to tell my birth story after a night like that!!

Originality

Sometimes I wish I was better with food. I can follow a recipe really well and it can turn out great! I can also make simple meals from scratch. I read all these food blogs and these people make some amazing meals that are simple! But in my mind I wonder how they got there!

Is it because they have the money for the ingredients? Can't always be because some of them use basic ingredients.

Are they more learned then me? Possibly. A couple of them are trained, so I would definitely say so.

Are they more talented then me? That must be it! Maybe it's just their natural instincts when it comes to food. It's this deep down embedded code that exists inside them; it tells them what goes good with what.

Maybe I just don't have the energy right now to try newer, elaborate meals and I want to just blame it on my "lack of talent." I can honestly blame it on my lack of money, though! LOL! And the fact that I don't live across the street from a grocery store anymore.

I think I might try and be a LITTLE more original tonight (instead of oven pizza or chicken strips.)

38 Weeks and 3 Days

WOW.

My first pregnancy post was 7 weeks. People always talk about how time flies but, honestly, it really does! It seems unreal that I am so close to meeting the little guy that has been growing in me since November! He's already so special to me. I can't wait for us to give him a name and bring him home. I can't wait for Alfie to meet him and get used to him. I know he'll be protective but loving.

Things haven't been too bad at all. I probably complain more than I should. My left hip is still bothering me and I can't walk far without having contractions. I also can't walk too fast at all. I don't sleep very well at night. Mostly because my whole body is just plain uncomfortable. I also have some really weird dreams that will wake me up. Oh, and don't forget the peeing! Always the peeing! I know I've had a good sleep when I only had to wake up twice to go to the bathroom. LOL!

I had a doctor's appointment today and he said that if I make it to my next appointment then he will do an internal exam just to see what's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm already a tiny bit dilated. That can usually start 2-3 weeks before baby actually comes. He hasn't dropped yet but that could happen at any time. I really would like not to have to think about another doctor's appointment but none of this is on my terms! I have to trust my body with it all.

Here are my 38 week photos (I know it's a few days after the exact week but I needed batteries for the camera.)

My How Time Flies

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in awhile! Actually, it's been a long while. Life has been pretty busy around here so updating has been kind of the last thing on my mind.

First things first, there is no baby yet. We are still awaiting his triumphant arrival! And let me say, he is welcome to make his appearance ANY TIME!! I am so tired and worn out...I just want him here! Both Dan and I are excited to meet him face-to-face and just hold him. I want to pinch his little cheeks and pat his little bum. I cannot believe how close it is - just 29 days! I am feeling prepared if he were to come today. The moment I bought a pack of newborn diapers I knew I was ready. Everything else is just waiting for him! I have all these cute little outfits that I look at every day but no little boy to wear them yet! "I will be patient" is my new mantra. LOL!

Secondly, we are all moved into our house! Well, all moved in as in all the boxes are here. We have done a lot of unpacking so far and have the main rooms all set up. My mom has been a HUGE help with that! I've been able to keep on top of doing all the dishes and stuff but she really helped me with unpacking the kitchen and the dining room. She's such a blessing! I love coming down in the morning and seeing my dining room, kitchen and living room all separate from each other. And they're tidy because everything has a place! It's not all crammed into a little apartment spot. Alfie is used to the house now. He's been pretty good about it. He LOVES his back yard which I am really glad we have for him now. Our next door neighbors have a little Pomeranian and a white Lab puppy so I can't really let Alfie out when they're there because he just goes insane! If he was on the other side of the fence with them he'd be scared crazy, but since he's in his territory all he does is bark at them like a mad dog. Hopefully that will change! All-in-all, though, we are just loving the house!

Last Saturday we had the memorial service for Cathy. It was a really nice service. My dad performed it and her Aunt Barb did the eulogy. It was short but very sweet. I don't like the idea of funerals being long...that's just too painful. Plus it was pretty hot that day and I was sweating like a pig! Afterwords we all went back to Peter's place and there were refreshments and great conversation. It was great to get to know Peter's family a little better. I have known Cathy's side of the family before I even knew Dan but the last time I had seen anyone from the other side was our wedding three years ago! Later that evening we went over to the hotel they were staying at and just spent time hanging out with them. What a fun group of people! They're planning to have a Wilson family reunion every year starting next summer. I hope it happens because I would LOVE that! I've always enjoyed family reunions. They don't happen enough!

Anywho, my battery on my laptop is dying so I'm going to sign off before it ends it's life. The cord is all the way downstairs and I will gladly admit that I am too lazy to go and get it! LOL! I'll leave you with a couple of pictures from Canada Day. We spent it in Ottawa with my parents and two of my brothers and we had a GREAT time! I am calling these my 36 weeks pictures. Enjoy!

A Great Loss

Dan and his mom, Cathy

Peter, Cathy, Dan and Me

Friday around 7 o'clock I got the call. The call I have been dreading since the day I married my husband. For the past 3 years every time the phone rang and it was my father-in-law I was afraid it would be "the call." His wife has passed away.

Dan's mom (Cathy) had Huntington's Disease. She started to show symptoms around 39 and for the past 14 years slowly progressed in the disease. My father-in-law (Peter) quit working about 13 years ago to be her main caregiver. He lived and breathed for her. His life revolved around her comfort and her happiness. Everything he did he thought of her first and how it would affect her. Sadly, over the years, Dan and Peter had to watch Cathy fade away from the person she used to be.

Even so, she still had quite the personality. I have only known her for about 3 1/2 years but I remember how lively she was when I first met her. She smiled, she laughed and she would turn her head towards you to listen. She couldn't talk and she couldn't make simple movements (like a gesture to shake your hand) but she was very much aware of everything that was going on. I remember one time my mom and I were looking through a photo album of Dan when he was a baby and she was just glowing! She had a huge beaming smile on her face as we showed her pictures and commented on them. That is a good memory I have of her. She used to like to watch romantic movies and she always responded to them. She liked to watch soap operas and I'm pretty sure she was a Toronto Maple Leafs fan (or so Peter says...lol!)

Over the past year, especially, she seemed to fade more quickly. She lost a lot of weight (despite eating the same amount of food) and came down with a couple lung infections. One of those was just last weekend. Peter had a couple scares with her in the last week but was able to keep her alive without having to take her all the way to emergency. She was on antibiotics and things were starting to look up. She was still having trouble swallowing but the nurse said that once she is done the antibiotics that should subside.

Friday night while Peter was feeding her he noticed her face change color. He gave her a form of the Heimlich but it didn't work. He said it all happened in about 3 minutes. She just stopped breathing. I have a feeling her heart just gave out. She was only about 50 pounds at the time of her death and I think her heart was just to weak. So, Peter called us right away and we went over. We got to spend the last couple hours with her as a family and it was so special. The grieving process is hard but so essential. I am glad I didn't go to Ottawa this weekend so I could be there for my husband and father-in-law.

We are sad that she is gone but we are thankful that she is no longer suffering. Her body is renewed and she is no longer sick. Sometimes the "healing" process comes in a form we don't like to think of: death. Life will be different and we will get used to it. It will take time but we are a family and we have each other. We also have LBW to look forward to! The day before her passing Dan and I were talking about how excited we were going to be to take LBW over to see his mom and get pictures of him on her lap. Unfortunately we won't have that now. But we have her memory and lots of stories to tell. She got to feel my stomach at a time when LBW was moving around. I'm thankful for that!

There is this song that is now reminding me of Peter and Cathy. I know how it is to love someone whole-heartedly but I do not know that feeling of losing them. So this song is dedicated to my father-in-law.

Beautiful
by Amy Grant

I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me
Feel your heartbeat just one more time
Reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine

How do you prepare
When you love someone this way
To let them go a little more each day?

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again
'Cause it was beautiful
It was beautiful

Some days, missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you're not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?

My thoughts get kind of scattered
But one thing I know is true
I blessed the day that I found you

The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again
'Cause it was beautiful
It was beautiful