When?

When will I be treated like an adult? When you're younger you dream about being an adult and finally being a part of that world. Well, when does that happen? When you're 20? 30? 40? 50? I'm almost 24 years old and I still feel many times like I have not yet entered that world of adulthood. Not by my standards, but by others. What is the standard? When I am a student, why do I automatically get clumped into the group that is made up of 17-18 year old freshman? I get treated like I know nothing; that I haven't experienced anything. This is just extremely unfair.

I'm not trying to be a complainer or whiner, I'm just tired of it all. I'm just ranting a little. I mean, if I was 20 years older then I am, would my superintendent say she was disappointed because of a miscommunication between us? Who says that? I am living here, paying rent to the property management (not her), we are quiet (we try hard to consider the couple beside us with young kids), we have only been one day late on our rent once, it has never bounced, we have been nice to our superintendent, I have never been rude back to her...it is just ridiculous the way she treats us. I can bet you everything that she would never treat someone even 10 years older than us the same way.

This is what I mean by being treated like I'm still super young. I know that I still have many ways that I need to mature, I'm not arguing that at all. But where is the grace? Where is the room to grow and change? It makes me think of one Joy Williams song where she says "They say I am too young to really understand. They say I am too old to be where I am. They say just fit in and you'll be just fine. But I can't buy the lie." Has anyone else felt that way while they are young now or when you were young? When does this phase end? When will I get treated the age I feel and know I am?

He Is

I sang this song on Easter Sunday a few years ago with a friend. I have such a good memory of it and the lyrics are just wonderful. There is no song really like it.

He Is
by Aaron Geoffry

In Genesis, He's the breath of life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our High Priest
Numbers, The fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is salvation's choice
Judges, law giver
In Ruth, the kinsmen-redeemer
First and second Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles, He's sovereign

Ezra, true and faithful scribe
Nehemiah, He's the re-builder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms, He is our morning song

In Proverbs, wisdom's cry
Ecclesiastes, the time and season
In the Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, He's the call from sin
In Daniel, the stranger in the fire

In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirits power
In Amos, the arms that carry us
In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary

In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and our shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our fountain

In Malachi, He is the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In the book of Acts, He is fire from heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin

Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servants heart
In Colossians, He's the Godhead Trinity
Thessalonians, our coming King
In Timothy, Titus, Philemon He's our mediator and our faithful Pastor

In Hebrews, the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick.
In First and Second Peter, he is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride
In the Revelation, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords

He is, He is, HE IS!

The prince of peace
The Son of man
The Lamb of God
The great I AM

He's the alpha and omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ the Lord
and when time is no more
He is, HE IS!

Imagination

This is one of those songs that touches me so deeply that I know it will rest in my mind and heart forever. Every once and a while I will dust it off and think of the words and play it a couple times through. There is something so powerful about the words; something so honest. It is raw and full of rich phrases such as "righteous indignation" and "a finite mind". Pretty strong words for a girl who was only sixteen when she wrote the song.

Today I was just briefly talking with my brother about maturing and changing. I mentioned that it's strange how nothing is ever the same again, day after day. In this song I like how she mentions that she needs to be reminded of who she was so as not to be like that anymore. I feel like I need to look back on who I was at different times in my youth just to see how far I have come (you know, on those days where you feel like you haven't changed a bit.) I ask you to reflect on the words of the song and just let it remind you of your journey and changes. It's beautiful!

I have always been impressed with Bethany Dillon's writing talents from the first time I heard her debut album. I continue to be a fan of hers and would still love to see a show of hers one day. Until then, I will listen and soak up the wise words of her music.

Imagination
by Bethany Dillon

I need to be reminded of who I was
When I took my first steps out the door
All I said now follows me around
I'm reminded I'm not like that anymore

I uprooted and miles behind me
Are the faces and the home I love
You've brought to my attention
I'm slowly changing and becoming
What I wanted to stop

Isn't that just like a finite mind
Setting out with such righteous indignation
But now I'm at your feet
Could you look at me with some imagination

The bush before me, I slip my sandals off
I only stopped to look
In the depths of the sea, in the midst of a great storm
I run, I run from you

Isn't that just like a finite mind
Setting out with such righteous indignation
But now I'm at your feet
Could you look at me with some imagination

So remind me why you woke me up
And why you wake me every morn
The staff in my hand
Held in by your love
Just stay close, stay close
Because I know my own mind

I set out with righteous indignation
But when I'm at your feet
Please look at me with some imagination
With some imagination

My Mother

My mother is full of grace and beauty;
Of truth and wisdom and faith

When looking in her eyes all you can see
is peace and true contentment

She may be small but she holds herself high
without a drop of pride

She's strong and bold, but easily hurt
when someone displaces her trust

She dances and sings to her very own tune
that she shares with only a few

She has her a man who beside her will stand
until the day she lays down

Her heart is a-flutter with hope to discover
the plan her God shows her each day

She carried and labored four children who love her
with every beat of their hearts

If it wasn't for my mother I would never know
how beautiful God can be

She's aging in body but look very closely
you'll see that her heart is still young

In all of the world I'm sure I won't find
a mother who is quite like mine

The Awakening Begins

I am anxiously awaiting Spring. I love when the snow starts to melt and the air smells like it is waking up. Everything is fresh and new and alive. I LOVE Spring. I am already seeing little signs of it:

When I wake up and the floor isn't cold to the touch.
When I look outside and joyously see that there is less snow on the ground than there was the day before.
When I can walk outside in a sweater and not feel a chill that reaches deep into my bones.
When I can start to wear my flip-flops!! :)

I look forward to it every year. I also love the Spring rains, the flowers starting to bloom, the awakening of the city again. Many little things that make this season so special.

I am also always reminded of the grace of God at this time. God could choose to give us the exact same day all year long, but he doesn't. He decided to make everywhere in the world different every single day. It's even different weather 2 hours away from me where my parent's live.

Sometimes there has to be death for life to be renewed. I strive to die to myself everyday so that God can make me new and beautiful and useful. Jesus became so full of sin on the cross that he had to die in order to create a path from us to God. How beautiful is that?

I think of a song by Bethany Dillon called "New". She says "You take an ordinary day and turn it into flowers like the month of May." Always makes me think of Spring and just how everything goes through a renewal process year after year, day after day, without fail. We do the same, it just might not always be as grand and visible as Springtime. But we are made new.

New by Bethany Dillon

What is this sun that conquers mountains
Singing over what has been asleep?
What is it that softens all my doubting?
It's you

Morning brings a hunger for new eyes
That have been covered by the hurt of yesterday
Who could create in me the vision of a little child?
It's you

You take an ordinary day
And turn it into flowers like the month of May
Yes you do
You see all my pain
You cry over it for hours till I'm new again
Yes you do

When I have been a victim of familiarity
When my heart has fallen into sleep
Healing is the voice that awakens me
And it is you

You make me new