Inklings

My mom had a miscarriage between her first two children. She was around 11 weeks. She told me that she's always thought of that baby as a boy and his name is John. She also admitted that she would never have named a child that, so it's kind of strange.

I think our baby was a girl. For some reason I think of her as Marianna. That name was never on my list for a girl and now it never will be - it's been given away. :)

Whether it was a girl or a boy shouldn't make a difference but somehow it does. It actually makes me feel more connected to her; like she really was a part of our lives.

And she was. A big part.