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Monday, January 21, 2008

Okay...Not So Hot

Well, since I wrote my first post (I guess that was only two days ago), I haven't done so hot. I have gained a certain affinity for sweets recently and it seems like nothing will cut it! I know that I need to just cut it out altogether and leave it behind me, but chocolate is just soooo good! I also have a problem with snacks in general. Like tortilla chips with salsa mixed in sour cream, Ruffles plain ripple chips dipped in PC French Onion Dip, pizza pockets...yum!

Now, my problem is, I KNOW how bad these are for me! Before, during, and after I eat them I think about the ingredients and know what they are doing to me!! But does that stop me?! NO! I let the fact that it tastes so good take over. What happens to me usually is I do well for a lot of the day and then I crash and burn in the evening. For instance, yesterday I had a healthy breakfast, I had my green drink, for lunch I had raw veggies and hummus but then I had chips and salsa and chocolate lastnight! I'm sitting here eating caramels. They're good, but do I feel good when I wake up in the morning and look at my puffy face and stomach in the morning?

So, why do I do this? Why do I look at myself in the morning and not like what I see yet still eat this way? Why does it seem to be SO hard? Is there something in me that I have buried deep inside and somehow my addiction to food is my cover up? Why can I not stop thinking about food?! It's on my mind all the time! I keep hoping that one of these days it will just fly out of my mind and never return. It just doesn't seem fair. Do other people have this problem? Are there others who can't stop thinking about food?

Well, tomorrow is a new day. Everyday I wake up thinking that it is a new opportunity to do well with my eating. Somedays I succeed, somedays I fail. I just want to be healthy. It's not even so much about the weight. I want to know that my heart and my body are working well.

It's my weekend. I'm going to enjoy it and preoccupy myself so I won't think about food. I'll make myself less sedentary. I'll take my dog for a walk, go shopping, mail letters, call my mom...I'll make it a busy day. Hopefully that will help!

I'll let you know!


FatDoctor said...

Congrats on your introspection and knowledge of why you are overweight. That's half the battle!

Some people do well with plans that make you accountable to others. Weight Watchers is the best plan I've tried in that realm, and you really can eat quite a bit.

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be too get rid of comfort eating. Sigh.