I'm still here...I promise! I'll give you a better update soon but for now I'll leave you a belly pic! 38 weeks and counting...

Time Off

Some weeks are full of opposite shifts, daycare, running around, paying bills, barely having enough for groceries, tired, cranky children and tired, cranky parents.

Then there are weeks that are full of love and life. Paul and I have been at my parent's house since Saturday and it's been so relaxing and ultimately uneventful. I love that. My parents get some quality time with their grandson and I get a little bit of a break from having to keep an eye on him every single minute of the day. There's also games of Yahtzee, hot coffee and great conversation. We've been to the Fair, celebrated "Gwampa's" birthday and found some good deals at second-hand shops.

Throwing rocks in the water

Paulie and Mommy

I'm on vacation for two weeks (sixteen days to be exact) and am loving every single moment. I haven't had any vacation since I went back to work over a year ago. It actually all fell into place perfectly. Our daycare provider had her baby today (congrats, Sam!) and is off for two weeks and I just got a new job I start Oct. 3rd. That's right, brand spanking new. I'm moving from women's clothing into children's clothing (dangerous.) It's a better position and better pay. I'm excited for the change but I'm also kind of nervous - who isn't when facing a new job?

Another thing I'm excited about is a new baby! We are expecting again and I'm due March 24th. Only 4.5 more weeks till we find out what it is! Boy? Girl? What's your guess? Until then I am content just knowing that it's growing (boy oh boy is it growing) and healthy.

So, as I spend the morning hanging out with mom at her work I feel thankful and blessed to get this time. I like feeling free to say "whatever...we've got all the time we want." I'm soaking up all this beautiful transitional fall weather and making the most of it. Today is shopping and Pad Thai for lunch (something I save for trips "home") with my mom. Lovely day it is, then :)

6 Months Ago

Six months ago I was growing a baby in my belly. It had a beating heart and a brain. It had little hands and feet. It was going to grow up to be someone special - someone great. At least in my mind it was.

Six months ago I was looking forward to August 31st. It was a prominent date in my mind. It still is, but in a very different way. I have been dreading it. That date will now always remind me of the baby that didn't get to be; that never got a chance. I will probably always be just a little bit sad on that day.

There is a silver lining, though. There is now a new little one getting the chance to grow and become someone special right inside me. I have seen it. I saw it wiggle and was told it had a heart beat of 171 bpm. I am 10 weeks and 3 days.

I am grateful to be able to face this day knowing that God has special plans for a different child in our lives. One that will be just as great.

TWO!

My son is two today! When did that happen? I remember my first post about being pregnant - seems like yesterday!

He is such a delight. Words are spilling out of him so fast and it just blows us away. We've been teaching him that it's his birthday and he's two - he loves saying it: "Birtday - TWO!" We feel so lucky and blessed to have him...every single day :)

Just a few days old

First Birthday

Two years old!

Today is also my wedding anniversary! 5 years I have been married to a wonderful, charming, thoughtful, loving man. I am amazed every day that he chooses to love me. I feel so undeserving of his love.

Happy Anniversary, my dear husband - with all that I am and will be :)

2006

2011

Our Song

Our 5 year anniversary is approaching.

This is our song :)

There's a melody in my head
And I ain't stopped hummin' it since I saw your face
There's a feeling I can't forget
It started with you kissing me that way
And there's no end in sight
Like an Oklahoma wheat field blowin'
You've got my heart in motion, and I'm gone
I'm the pinks and you're the reds
Just like this sunset, we belong
And there's no end in sight

How high is the sky
How long is time
With you it's how I'm spending mine
Like there is no end in sight
I wanna laugh
I wanna live
I'm gonna love you like there is, like there is no end in sight

So kick your shoes off, stay awhile
Ain't nothing here but stars for miles and me
We're standing on the edge of something
Not afraid of jumpin' in deep
And there's no end in sight

Melancholy

I'm having a melancholy day. It's hard to explain and deeply personal but on a general level do you ever have those days? You get wrapped up in your mind and it's a battlefield that you feel you can't get out of? That's my day today. I always like to listen to this song when I feel that way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbjE7NFmUI

Patty Griffin

RAIN

It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that I won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Its hard to know when to give up the fight
Two things you want will just never be right
Its never rained like it has to night before
Now I don't wanna beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm still alive underneath this shroud
Rain Rain Rain

Guesting

Hey everyone!

I know it's been a while since I finished my 30 day challenge but I've been busy! Today I am guest posting over at my friend Amy's blog. Feel free to check it out!

http://amyfortherest.blogspot.com

Make sure you also check out all of her other posts, too!