Another Song

I have this thing where songs really affect me. They always have, even when I was a little girl. I remember my dad performing "He's Alive" at Easter service when I was, oh, 6 or 7 and I remember tearing up! And sometimes I can listen to a song over and over and have lyrics hit me differently each time. Right now I keep having a Bethany Dillon song go through my head and I love it for it's beautiful lyrics. You have to read it more like a poem. It sounds almost like a psalm. I just want to share it with you.

Be Near Me
by Bethany Dillon

I follow all the rules
Well, at least I'm trying
Hoping when my days are through
You'll be pleased
I've lived the longest days
Thinking my heart was so bad
Too scared to look in your face
Oh, if only I had

And is it alright
If I stay here all night
By the shoreline

I cannot believe you are angry or unjust
You've done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near me when I've given up
Be near me

I'm just like everyone else
We are all hiding
Acting like I have a wealth
Of knowledge and peace
But all I've ever wanted
And what men have given their lives for
Is a God who understands my weaknesses
A God that I can love

I believe you are good and righteous
You've given me your reckless love
So be near, be near...

18 Weeks and 4 Days

18 Weeks 2 days...or 3 days?

This is Baby! This is the sweet little precious life that has been growing and changing rapidly inside of me. This is the one that will call me "mom" for the rest of my life. I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed right now. My little baby is an active one...I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it's into sports, like it's daddy. It was amazing to see it's little hands and feet move around. I wanted to spend all day in that room just watching my baby on that screen!

We were wanting to find out the gender today but Baby wouldn't let us. And you know what? I'm actually okay with it. I thought I would be really sad that we couldn't tell but it's actually made me that much more excited to wait! We can keep guessing till the end! That way we can decide on a name when we see it's lovely little face! I have a new found respect for people who wait (not that I have anything against people who find out because I really wanted to know myself.) Although, I will admit that I was starting to think that maybe I didn't really want to know before the ultrasound. Dan asked me this morning and I said "ya, I definitely want to know," but there was still a tiny part of my that was hoping to maybe not find out. I know that sounds weird 'cause I was going on about it, but I guess we were destined not to know!

After the ultrasound I have more of an idea of where Baby actually is positioned when I feel it kicking. When we started today Baby's head was on my right side and it's legs on my left. By the end it's head was at my belly button and it's legs down by my pelvis. It must still be in the second position because tonight I've felt it kick a couple times right there. At least it's done a 360 and ended up back there! lol! I LOVE feeling Baby kick!! Especially now that I've seen it's little feet it just amazes me when I feel it. I felt a really good one just 5 minutes ago...so far it's just wonderful and not annoying. We'll see in 3 months or so how I feel about it!

Well, I'm tired and full of tortilla chips and con queso (to celebrate a healthy baby! lol!) I love that stuff...that's why I only eat it once or twice a month (I bet you thought I was going to say year...lol!) OH!! One more thing. Baby is 8 oz! She said it's a good size for where I'm at. I guess the average is about 7 oz so Baby is doing well. And according to it's measurements I'm due July 31st...one day difference. I'll stick to August 1st. And I am sooooo excited to get there!!

All Right

Every once and awhile I hear an Amy Grant song playing over the mall sound system and it always sends me to my playlist to divulge myself in some classic songs of hers. I was listening to her always relevant "Lead Me On" album and I came across a song of hers that suddenly means more to me right now than it ever has before. In the song she simply talks about the fact that no matter what happens in life everything is going to be alright. I started to get kind of choked up while singing along (which I have a hard time NOT doing with her songs) and I believe it is because I needed to hear it. So, I want to share the lyrics with you, too.

All Right
by Amy Grant

Looking out to the hills
To the setting sun
I feel a cold wind
Bound to come
Another change
Another end I cannot see
But your faithfulness to me is making it

[Chorus:]
All right
I fall down on my knees
Tell me that it's all right
You give me what I need
Years of knocking on heaven's door
Have taught me this if nothing more
That it's all right, what may come

I've heard it said
When the river's running high
You get to higher ground or you die
Well muddy waves of pain
Washed over me
And it only made me see it's gonna be

All right
I fall down on my knees
Tell me that it's all right
You give me what I need
Years of knocking on heaven's door
Have taught me this if nothing more
That it's all right, what may come

When will I learn there're no guarantees
What strengthens hope, my eyes will never see
But it won't be long
Till the faith will be sight
And the Heavens will say
It's all right

17 Weeks and 2 Days

So, I'm sitting here eating Kraft Dinner (definitely a FAV of Little Baby Wilson's...lol) realizing that it's been almost two weeks since I've posted! Well, everything seems to be going just fine. My belly is growing larger every week. It's a lot of fun, actually, not having to worry about holding your stomach in! Since I was younger my mom always taught me to "suck it in" which is honestly some of the best advice (and what many girls SHOULD know that don't.) So now I'm enjoying the freedom of not having to think about it! It's glorious!

According to books and websites LBW is about 5 inches long now!! That's about the size of a ball point pen (although I'm willing to bet he/she doesn't quite look that slim and narrow.) It's weight is about 5 ounces which is the weight of a turnip according to one site. By the end of next week it's about 7 ounces! This week it's a turnip and next week it's a green pepper. Sounds more like I'm simmering a stew than baking buns!

My ultrasound is only 6 DAYS AWAY!!! I've been counting that down since they booked it at my doctor's office. I always wanted to wait but now I've gotten myself so excited about knowing that there is no way I could possibly wait. I'm very impatient that way. Dan's excited to know too...he even got the day off work for it! Oh ya! My hubby got a job! He's training to be a teller at a credit union. Very exciting! So, Monday seems like it's really far away right now, but it will come! I hope I can sleep the night before!

Well, I've got batteries for the camera so I'll keep you updated with belly pics! Keep checking in!

15 Weeks and 5 days

I had my doctor's appointment today! I must say that it came quicker than I thought. Once I was there it seemed like I had just been there a week ago! A month can go by pretty quickly. So, my blood work from the last visit was all good. And I guess my urine was good, too, 'cause she never said any different. It's the one time when "negative" is a good word! LOL!

I got to hear Baby Wilson's heartbeat for the first time today. It definitely brought a big smile to my face. I guess I'm still waiting for it to "hit" me that there is a living, breathing baby in my belly. Even hearing the heartbeat I didn't tear up or anything. I guess maybe I'm very realistic and am not surprised by things like the heartbeat and the rumblings in my tummy. I'm expecting them so they don't really surprise me. It was still good to know that the heartbeat is average and all seems to be good! She mentioned that my uterus seems a bit big for how far along I am, but my mom said that they always told her the same thing with each child and her mom was told the same. So, I guess having a big uterus runs in my family! HAHAHA

So, two weeks from Monday (Mar. 2) I will have my ultrasound! My doctor said anytime on or after March 1st because I will be 18 weeks at that point and they were able to book me the day after that! I'm SUPER excited for that! If all goes well we will know whether Baby Wilson is a boy or a girl!!! That is definitely one thing that I am psyched about. I don't really care what we have, and I know it's very cliche to say that, but I really don't. I guess deep down I'm kind of hoping for a girl, but a boy would be wonderful too!! A little mini-me of my husband wouldn't be a bad thing! :P

Well, I'm off to bed...pretty tired! My parent's are coming to visit this weekend and I'm excited for that. I always like spending time with them. My mom and I might do some maternity clothes shopping...I wouldn't mind that! So, I will update again when I've got more to tell!

15 Weeks...Flutter Away!

Well, two days ago I felt the first rumblings of Baby Wilson. It was exciting!!! I was sitting on the couch in the morning and suddenly it felt like there were a million bubbles in my uterus...amazing! But even better, last night while I was lying in bed, I actually felt a flutter! Well, it felt more like my uterus jumped! My friend asked me this morning if it freaked me out, but it honestly didn't. It felt exactly like I imagined it would.

It really is incredible, though. Baby is about 4 inches long now and can bounce around and make faces! It's developing so quickly. Sometimes it seems like 9 months is a long time, but when you stop to think that a life is developed in that time it seems like it's not long enough! LOL! It's miraculous and I will never think otherwise.

I picked up a couple items the other day. I got a fleece sleeper and a bag outfit thing (not sure what they're called.) I know that we'll get lots of stuff from a baby shower and everything, but there's still that need to choose some things myself. Since we don't know the sex yet I'm going with gender neutral things. I work in a mall across from a children's clothing store and I can't tell you how hard it is! I want to go over every lunch break and buy 10 things! Unfortunately, my husband wouldn't be too pleased if I did. I have a feeling it is going to get harder after I know what we're having.

Speaking of knowing the sex, I have my doctor's appointment on Thursday this week and they'll book my ultrasound from there!! I'm going to ask them to get me in for it as early as they can! I'm too excited!! I'll update you after my appointment and let you know any new news!