Lonely Days

Do you ever have lonely days? Days where nobody can fill that empty feeling inside you? Days when it feels like no one in the world sees you or acknowledges your presence? Sometimes these days can even make me feel sad; almost melancholy.

Whenever I stop to think about the fact that I am having a day like this I am reminded of an Amy Grant song*. It goes:

I love a lonely day
It makes me think of You
All alone, I can easily find Your love
I love a lonely day
It chases me to You
It clears my heart
Lets my very best part shine through
It's You

Most of the time on days like this I do start to think about God. I can't help it most of the time. It seems to be something that comes naturally. I don't know if it is like that for everyone but I have always found it easy to set my thoughts on Him. I have to admit that sometimes it can be a little uncomfortable. I mentioned in an earlier post that I can find it hard to express my feelings and that is no exception when it comes to my conversations with God.

When I start talking with Him I have no idea what He is going to say and sometimes that can unnerve me. I find it to be a gratifying challenge to open up to Him, though. For a moment my mind is immersed in thoughts of Him and not myself. I start to talk to Him about all of the things that are good in my life; my family, friends, a place to live, my puppy. And without realising it I have freed my heart of its loneliness. My God and I have become unified once again.

Anywho, I was just having one of those days today. If you find yourself feeling lonely challenge yourself to set your thoughts on Christ. I promise you that it will ease that feeling.

*I Love a Lonely Day
by Amy Grant

Being Alive

This is just a song that I really like. I like the words and the song itself is great! If I can find a way to do it I would love to put all the songs up that I have on here so you can hear them!

Being Alive
by Rachael Lampa

I don't wanna wake up in a crowded room
No room to move
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers sniffing helium from balloons
'Cause they got nothing better to do
You know those days when you can't hear above the noise
And all your doubts deployed
It's getting late and you're getting bored
With the status you cling to

Being alive is breathing in and breathing out
Being alive is knowing what you're gonna live for
It's knowing you got something you can't live without
Love love love love love love love

Do you ever wake up and find that you're
The only one that's standing still
Just part of the drill- no big deal
Today is just another thing to get through
And as the day goes passing by
I run down the list of all the things I meant to try
I meant to fly
I just never got around to it

So say you will, so say you won't give in when love comes
And when it does you're asking where will it come from
You will live long enough to learn, long as you have some
Love love love love love love love

Priceless friends

There is something so comforting about good friends. The joy of seeing one another after a long period of time and settling back into conversation as if you had just seen each other the day before. The deep sense of pride you have in a friend when they accomplished a life goal and the anticipation of watching them create new ones. There is also the comfort in knowing that you have someone to listen to you on the worst of days.

I have the pleasure of knowing two friends for a long period of time. My friend, Erynne, I have known for almost 13 years. Shannon I have known for nearly 12. These friends of mine rest very deep in my heart. I'm not sure what I would do without either one of them in my life. I am so deeply proud of them for their life accomplishments so far! Erynne is one year away from graduating with a BA and Shannon is a loving mother of an 15 month old son. How could I not be proud?

I have watched both of my friends go through pain and sadness and I've watched them go through times of extreme joy. I've seen them dig deep and search their inner beings to find out who they are and I have also seen them ground themselves in knowing just who they are and what they stand for. They are strong-willed and have strong hearts. They have both been through their share of tribulations but they have always come out stronger in the end.

I have learned many things from my dear, close friends. They have taught me to be bold. They have taught me to laugh, to love and to enjoy simple pleasures. They have taught me that it is okay to cry sometimes. I have also learned how to live stronger because of them. They may not realize it but I have also learned about God through them. Their beauty and grace have shown me Him in so many ways. I could not, and would not, replace their friendship for anything in this whole entire world. They are priceless.

The simple truth is: we fit!

Reaching and Being Faithful

I have recently come across a new artist. Her name is Brooke Fraser and she is from Australia. When I find a new artist that I like I take a lot of time to listen to their music and study their lyrics to really understand what they are singing about. It also helps me get an idea of who they are. All singers write from their heart; the lyrics come from somewhere deep within and carry a story with them. As I have been listening to her recently (frequently, I might add) I have picked up on one thing: she has a deep, unwavering faith. She speaks of feeling like she is not of this world, and that there is Hope coming for her one day. She lets us know that she has had days when she cannot "feel" God there, but she just knows that He is. She speaks of feeling responsible to make changes and share about problems in Rwanda stating that "faith without deeds is dead."

I am not the greatest with expressing myself. Especially in person. I get nervous and feel like my words will come out sounding petty and meaningless. So, to help with that insecurity I have turned to music to speak the words for me. I have never felt like it is cheating myself or the other person (or people) of what I really want to say, because, the song is saying it all for me. The person who wrote those words was feeling the same thing as I have in the moment that they wrote it (at least, that's what I tell myself.)

The following lyrics were written by Brooke and are an expression of how I have felt many, many times in my life. She speaks of trusting that God is there even when we may not be able to see or hear him. It is the ability to believe that He is there no matter what the circumstances in your life may be and reaching out for Him in any situation. I really like the imagery in this song and appreciate her words. They have touched and spoken for me and I hope that they might possibly have the same effect on you.

Faithful
By Brooke Fraser

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms 'round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what I long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And i want you more than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So I whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue,
Knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as lost to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

When?

When will I be treated like an adult? When you're younger you dream about being an adult and finally being a part of that world. Well, when does that happen? When you're 20? 30? 40? 50? I'm almost 24 years old and I still feel many times like I have not yet entered that world of adulthood. Not by my standards, but by others. What is the standard? When I am a student, why do I automatically get clumped into the group that is made up of 17-18 year old freshman? I get treated like I know nothing; that I haven't experienced anything. This is just extremely unfair.

I'm not trying to be a complainer or whiner, I'm just tired of it all. I'm just ranting a little. I mean, if I was 20 years older then I am, would my superintendent say she was disappointed because of a miscommunication between us? Who says that? I am living here, paying rent to the property management (not her), we are quiet (we try hard to consider the couple beside us with young kids), we have only been one day late on our rent once, it has never bounced, we have been nice to our superintendent, I have never been rude back to her...it is just ridiculous the way she treats us. I can bet you everything that she would never treat someone even 10 years older than us the same way.

This is what I mean by being treated like I'm still super young. I know that I still have many ways that I need to mature, I'm not arguing that at all. But where is the grace? Where is the room to grow and change? It makes me think of one Joy Williams song where she says "They say I am too young to really understand. They say I am too old to be where I am. They say just fit in and you'll be just fine. But I can't buy the lie." Has anyone else felt that way while they are young now or when you were young? When does this phase end? When will I get treated the age I feel and know I am?

He Is

I sang this song on Easter Sunday a few years ago with a friend. I have such a good memory of it and the lyrics are just wonderful. There is no song really like it.

He Is
by Aaron Geoffry

In Genesis, He's the breath of life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our High Priest
Numbers, The fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is salvation's choice
Judges, law giver
In Ruth, the kinsmen-redeemer
First and second Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles, He's sovereign

Ezra, true and faithful scribe
Nehemiah, He's the re-builder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms, He is our morning song

In Proverbs, wisdom's cry
Ecclesiastes, the time and season
In the Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, He's the call from sin
In Daniel, the stranger in the fire

In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirits power
In Amos, the arms that carry us
In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary

In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and our shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our fountain

In Malachi, He is the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings

He is, He is, HE IS!

In Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In the book of Acts, He is fire from heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin

Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servants heart
In Colossians, He's the Godhead Trinity
Thessalonians, our coming King
In Timothy, Titus, Philemon He's our mediator and our faithful Pastor

In Hebrews, the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick.
In First and Second Peter, he is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride
In the Revelation, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords

He is, He is, HE IS!

The prince of peace
The Son of man
The Lamb of God
The great I AM

He's the alpha and omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ the Lord
and when time is no more
He is, HE IS!

Imagination

This is one of those songs that touches me so deeply that I know it will rest in my mind and heart forever. Every once and a while I will dust it off and think of the words and play it a couple times through. There is something so powerful about the words; something so honest. It is raw and full of rich phrases such as "righteous indignation" and "a finite mind". Pretty strong words for a girl who was only sixteen when she wrote the song.

Today I was just briefly talking with my brother about maturing and changing. I mentioned that it's strange how nothing is ever the same again, day after day. In this song I like how she mentions that she needs to be reminded of who she was so as not to be like that anymore. I feel like I need to look back on who I was at different times in my youth just to see how far I have come (you know, on those days where you feel like you haven't changed a bit.) I ask you to reflect on the words of the song and just let it remind you of your journey and changes. It's beautiful!

I have always been impressed with Bethany Dillon's writing talents from the first time I heard her debut album. I continue to be a fan of hers and would still love to see a show of hers one day. Until then, I will listen and soak up the wise words of her music.

Imagination
by Bethany Dillon

I need to be reminded of who I was
When I took my first steps out the door
All I said now follows me around
I'm reminded I'm not like that anymore

I uprooted and miles behind me
Are the faces and the home I love
You've brought to my attention
I'm slowly changing and becoming
What I wanted to stop

Isn't that just like a finite mind
Setting out with such righteous indignation
But now I'm at your feet
Could you look at me with some imagination

The bush before me, I slip my sandals off
I only stopped to look
In the depths of the sea, in the midst of a great storm
I run, I run from you

Isn't that just like a finite mind
Setting out with such righteous indignation
But now I'm at your feet
Could you look at me with some imagination

So remind me why you woke me up
And why you wake me every morn
The staff in my hand
Held in by your love
Just stay close, stay close
Because I know my own mind

I set out with righteous indignation
But when I'm at your feet
Please look at me with some imagination
With some imagination