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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Trusting...

I am a Christian. I have a deep love for my Savior that cannot be replaced by anybody/anything. Sometimes, though, I think I go to food instead of Him. It's such an instant gratification. What is it that is making me go to food? Is it the fact that I am unhappy with my job? Is it because I dropped out of college and am afraid that if I start I will do the same thing again? Is it because I don't know what I want to do in college? Is it because I know for a fact that there is something sad that will happen in my future? Is it because I am overweight and am self-concious about that? Even though it's the thing I dislike most about myself it drives me to eat more because I'm upset about it.

I spoke to my mom today and she said that I shouldn't feel like I'm bad and that I shouldn't beat myself up about it. You know, she's right! When I do that it just makes me feel worse and then I end up eating more. It's a vicious cycle!

I am constantly amazed at the intricate design of our bodies. We are made in such a way that if one part of us isn't working properly, nothing else will do it's part to it's fullest. Everything in our body is linked to each other. If our blood sugar levels are low we become (well, at least I do) grumpy, irritated, tired, emotional, and we crave foods that are bad for us. When my blood sugar is completely level I am happy, contented, satisfied, on track with my healthy eating and I am energetic. All because my body is working together to feed me the proper nutrition.

I know all the right stuff. I know the foods that will give me energy, the ones that will make me full and the ones that will even out my blood sugar levels. I was even sharing information with my friend today about keeping our bodies alkaline and what foods are more alkalizing and which ones are more acidic. I KNOW the information I'm just taking my sweet time following it. What am I afraid of? It sounds weird, but even though I want to lose weight there is a part of me that is afraid to let it go. It has been my comfort, my hiding place. I need to give that all up and make Jesus my hiding place again. I need to take care of this life that He has graciously given me. I am undeserving. I don't want to take this gift given to me and horde it all. I am meant to share my life with others and that means taking care of myself so that I have something to share.

Anywho, my insights for the day. I'll have more tomorrow! Until then...a song that inspired me today. It's not about eating but about giving back to God what He has given us. Enjoy!

Breathing the Breath by Matt Redman

We have nothing to give
That didn't first come from Your hands
We have nothing to offer You
Which You did not provide
Every good, perfect gift comes from
Your kind and gracious heart
And all we do is give back to You
What always has been Yours

Lord, we're breathing the breath
That You gave us to breathe
To worship You, to worship You
And we're singing these songs
With the very same breath
To worship You, to worship You

Who has given to You
That it should be paid back to him?
Who has given to You
As if You needed anything?
From You, and to You, and through You
Come all things, O Lord
And all we do is give back to You
What always has been Yours

2 comments:

mommo4.5 said...

Those lyrics are beautiful!

Garrett Hanna said...

Ugg, I know what it's like Morgan. It's way too easy to eat unhealthily, and cheaper too! I find it hard to stray away from those greasy, salted, and delicious fast food joints and you always feel like crap after eating at them but you do it anyway. I guess the best thing is to go cold turkey and if you're craving or feeling really hungry at a time you shouldn't be eating, I guess find something else to do, suck it up, or pray. (the latter is probably the best choice) You can do it Morgan, it's possible. You see people in much worse situations than you and they pull it off. Maybe this blog is a good way to keep yourself on track. Good idea and I'll be coming in here from time to time to see how you're doing. And I want to see improvement! Love ya!